Shyness is a form of manipulation, for some, it takes a lot of courage to be themselves and they must begin with an awareness of what and who they really are.
For me, I was terribly shy growing up - strike that out - even at my geriatric age now - I still overcompensate by jumping in with both feet. The beet red face and jelly on the inside, never goes away, it stays with us always, so any form of entertaining, let alone conversation with strangers is like living with constant stage fright.
I have been told by different people (who eventually got to know me), that they always saw me as something of a snob. Now they claim I'm the most social person they know. I still doubt that; because the hidden fears are always there. Fortunately I have learned to work through the occasional bout of shyness and smother it before it takes hold.
The origin of our shyness is not important. What matters is that when it rears its ugly head, instead of falling for the same old defensive reactions, we should listen to our inner voice. By delving deeper, beyond our perceptions and doubts, we can allow a natural talent to shine through.
In truth, I had no idea how to initiate a conversation and feared if someone else did, I would be unable to respond properly. Gatherings could be a nightmare, at a normal meeting or function - even among hundreds - the perception that a single person had a dislike could mean finding a quiet corner and staying there. Could this be seen as a plain case of inferiority complex, who knows?
When shyness overshadows our talents, we miss out on opportunities to grow and advance, trapped in a vicious circle of insecurity and frustration. What we need to find is security within ourselves by aiming to reach the point where we can convince ourselves we are more important than any external opinion.
Shyness is often fed by thoughts and self criticism, or instilled from some dark past by judgmental or authoritarian figures, who made us feel unimportant.
Maybe we should embrace life instead of resisting it, and in this way we might begin to believe that the best is always coming to us, even though it may not seem that way.
There are no guarantees for cultivating trust in ourselves, but once we do feel secure, there is nothing to stop us. We can become more honest with ourselves on what we hope to achieve and where we want to be. More importantly, remember, you are giving to yourself, and because of the love you deserve, you deserve to shine.
Now make a list of any situation, which, instead of stepping up, you step back and every time you feel you are putting the brakes on, take another step forward.
Good luck!
